Sans has to haul himself up off the couch like it's some great and terrible effort (it is) and plod his way over to the kitchen. At this point, he wouldn't be surprised if Papyrus started, uh, belching flames with the way he's floundering.
[Papyrus is writhing on the floor, gnawing on the tile, tears flowing down his face.]
PLEASE TRY TO MAKE ANOTHER RIGHT AWAY! I NEED ONE IMMEDIATELY! IN MY MOUTH! IMMEDIATELY! I THINK IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE ME RIGHT NOW!
SANS I AM TRYING TO DRINK MY TEARS TO FIX IT BUT THEY TASTE LIKE A LOT OF CHILI SAUCE!
[All right, so maybe he wasn't deliberately settin' off to use all the milk for the sake of a prank that he mostly carried off on a whim. Water, he knows, won't be of much help in this situation.
When all else fails, apply food to the source of discomfort.]
Maybe wash it down with a couple 'dogs. The grease should counteract with the grease real nicely, y'know?
I-- YOU-- THIS-- THIS WAS ALL! A RUSE!! A RUSE TO! GREASE ME! I WILL NOT BE GREASED, SANS! ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY INTEGRITY!! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AWAY TOO!!
[Where he's sitting right now, though... the 'dogs might be the less painful option. Tragically.]
[Papyrus is going to vigorously scarf them down in like two bites each in an effort to get the heat of an entire bottle of chili sauce out of his mouth.
It's lessening the agony somewhat, and he actually calms down and lies back on the floor, fully prone.]
Your first mistake is underestimating me, Papyrus, the master of japes! [What is a prank but a slightly more mischievous puzzle?] Alphys is pretty talented, yes, but you will find my retaliation... alarming!
[There are few things more intimidating than hearing your brother declare that he is "open parentheses I am the dragon closed parentheses." He's gotta hand it to Papyrus - when he tries, he tries with everything he's got.
Meaning Sans is pretty screwed, huh?
He's gonna enjoy the semi-tranquility of House Number Three while it lasts.]
I got plenty.
[He fetches another plate of 'em from the fridge.]
[Sans perches on the counter and watches his brother down the 'dogs in record speed, plainly still more than a little amused at what he managed to set off.]
I guess I was pretty dogged in pulling that little prank off.
Yes, your completely unnecessary and fate-resigning prank! I hope you are very happy with yourself, brother.
[Finally, his mouth is no longer on fire. Still a little tingly, though. What is he supposed to do with all this ruined spaghetti sauce, now? The noodles are done.
He gets up and drains the noodles and places them in a serving dish.]
I hope you are happy. Today's spaghetti is deconstructed!
[That's really the more pertinent question here. Raises an awful lotta questions about the nature of the spaghetti sauce Papyrus has been meticulously pourin' his heart and SOUL into making.]
I guess, yeah. Never really thought of it that way.
[He fishes a bottle of actual ketchup out of his pocket (and Papyrus is free to check if he wishes, though Sans checks first by downing a swig of it) and holds it out as a sort of peace offering.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!
called lazily from the living room
Oh, hey, Papyrus. I replaced all the ketchup in the house with sriracha. Hope that's all right with ya.
screamed agonizingly from the kitchen
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Whoops.
OTL
no subject
Sans has to haul himself up off the couch like it's some great and terrible effort (it is) and plod his way over to the kitchen. At this point, he wouldn't be surprised if Papyrus started, uh, belching flames with the way he's floundering.
Whoops.]
Emphasis on "trying." Didn't really work out.
no subject
PLEASE TRY TO MAKE ANOTHER RIGHT AWAY! I NEED ONE IMMEDIATELY! IN MY MOUTH! IMMEDIATELY! I THINK IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE ME RIGHT NOW!
SANS I AM TRYING TO DRINK MY TEARS TO FIX IT BUT THEY TASTE LIKE A LOT OF CHILI SAUCE!
no subject
When all else fails, apply food to the source of discomfort.]
Maybe wash it down with a couple 'dogs. The grease should counteract with the grease real nicely, y'know?
no subject
I-- YOU-- THIS-- THIS WAS ALL! A RUSE!! A RUSE TO! GREASE ME! I WILL NOT BE GREASED, SANS! ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY INTEGRITY!! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AWAY TOO!!
[Where he's sitting right now, though... the 'dogs might be the less painful option. Tragically.]
no subject
Sans peruses the fridge with languorous unconcern for someone who's watching his brother writhe on the floor ineffectually.]
I dunno if we got a lotta other choice here, bro. We're clean outta everything else.
no subject
--OKAY! FINE! GREASE ME! BUT I WILL NOT FORGET THIS, SANS! I WILL NEVER FORGET!
[He'll probably forget, this isn't the first time Sans has replaced food with another food. Remember the salt/sugar debacle of 200X?]
no subject
If you're plannin' on gettin' me back for this, Alph has you beat.
no subject
It's lessening the agony somewhat, and he actually calms down and lies back on the floor, fully prone.]
Your first mistake is underestimating me, Papyrus, the master of japes! [What is a prank but a slightly more mischievous puzzle?] Alphys is pretty talented, yes, but you will find my retaliation... alarming!
[Is this foreshadowing? It's foreshadowing.]
no subject
Should I wait for it to ring any bells?
no subject
[That's real threatening coming from a skeleton currently curled up on the floor.]
...Is there another hot dog? My mouth is only half-numb. The other half is smoldering.
no subject
Meaning Sans is pretty screwed, huh?
He's gonna enjoy the semi-tranquility of House Number Three while it lasts.]
I got plenty.
[He fetches another plate of 'em from the fridge.]
no subject
[He sits up and takes two 'dogs and doesn't scarf them down as ravenously as the last two, but he does alternate bites between them pretty rapidly.]
Sweet relief is within reach.
no subject
I guess I was pretty dogged in pulling that little prank off.
no subject
[Finally, his mouth is no longer on fire. Still a little tingly, though. What is he supposed to do with all this ruined spaghetti sauce, now? The noodles are done.
He gets up and drains the noodles and places them in a serving dish.]
I hope you are happy. Today's spaghetti is deconstructed!
no subject
[That's really the more pertinent question here. Raises an awful lotta questions about the nature of the spaghetti sauce Papyrus has been meticulously pourin' his heart and SOUL into making.]
no subject
[Maybe it wasn't a good idea? Well, obviously, the ketchup ended up being sriracha, but maybe even if it wasn't? Hmm...]
no subject
[He fishes a bottle of actual ketchup out of his pocket (and Papyrus is free to check if he wishes, though Sans checks first by downing a swig of it) and holds it out as a sort of peace offering.]
Wanna give it a shot?
no subject
...Well! I will have to start all over with the sauce. What a waste of perfectly good tomatoes!!
[...But he does take the ketchup bottle, and places it on the counter. Time to retrieve more tomatoes.]
no subject
[Here it comes, Papyrus. You ready?]
They're here today and gone tomato.
no subject
Papryus dunks the tomatoes whole into a pot so hard they burst.]
NO!!!!!! THEY DON'T!!!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)