[All right, so maybe he wasn't deliberately settin' off to use all the milk for the sake of a prank that he mostly carried off on a whim. Water, he knows, won't be of much help in this situation.
When all else fails, apply food to the source of discomfort.]
Maybe wash it down with a couple 'dogs. The grease should counteract with the grease real nicely, y'know?
I-- YOU-- THIS-- THIS WAS ALL! A RUSE!! A RUSE TO! GREASE ME! I WILL NOT BE GREASED, SANS! ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY INTEGRITY!! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AWAY TOO!!
[Where he's sitting right now, though... the 'dogs might be the less painful option. Tragically.]
[Papyrus is going to vigorously scarf them down in like two bites each in an effort to get the heat of an entire bottle of chili sauce out of his mouth.
It's lessening the agony somewhat, and he actually calms down and lies back on the floor, fully prone.]
Your first mistake is underestimating me, Papyrus, the master of japes! [What is a prank but a slightly more mischievous puzzle?] Alphys is pretty talented, yes, but you will find my retaliation... alarming!
[There are few things more intimidating than hearing your brother declare that he is "open parentheses I am the dragon closed parentheses." He's gotta hand it to Papyrus - when he tries, he tries with everything he's got.
Meaning Sans is pretty screwed, huh?
He's gonna enjoy the semi-tranquility of House Number Three while it lasts.]
I got plenty.
[He fetches another plate of 'em from the fridge.]
[Sans perches on the counter and watches his brother down the 'dogs in record speed, plainly still more than a little amused at what he managed to set off.]
I guess I was pretty dogged in pulling that little prank off.
Yes, your completely unnecessary and fate-resigning prank! I hope you are very happy with yourself, brother.
[Finally, his mouth is no longer on fire. Still a little tingly, though. What is he supposed to do with all this ruined spaghetti sauce, now? The noodles are done.
He gets up and drains the noodles and places them in a serving dish.]
I hope you are happy. Today's spaghetti is deconstructed!
[That's really the more pertinent question here. Raises an awful lotta questions about the nature of the spaghetti sauce Papyrus has been meticulously pourin' his heart and SOUL into making.]
I guess, yeah. Never really thought of it that way.
[He fishes a bottle of actual ketchup out of his pocket (and Papyrus is free to check if he wishes, though Sans checks first by downing a swig of it) and holds it out as a sort of peace offering.]
[With a harrumph, Papyrus adds the ketchup to the pot as well. Like half the bottle this time. He leaves the tomato stems in there, whoops. The noodles have been done for a while, so they sit alone in another pot. He stirs the sauce, adds some random herbs and spices (got to eat your greens!), and stirs and stirs some more.
Eventually, he decides it's cooked enough, and prepares the now-cold noodles and ketchup-tomato sauce together and serves it on a plate dropped into Sans' lap.]
[Oh geez. What a, uh...interesting melange of smells and spices this meal looks like. Sans grins up at his brother irreverently as he silently pleads with whatever gods of culinary creation there might be that he does not have to eat the entire thing in front of his brother.]
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When all else fails, apply food to the source of discomfort.]
Maybe wash it down with a couple 'dogs. The grease should counteract with the grease real nicely, y'know?
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I-- YOU-- THIS-- THIS WAS ALL! A RUSE!! A RUSE TO! GREASE ME! I WILL NOT BE GREASED, SANS! ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY INTEGRITY!! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AWAY TOO!!
[Where he's sitting right now, though... the 'dogs might be the less painful option. Tragically.]
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Sans peruses the fridge with languorous unconcern for someone who's watching his brother writhe on the floor ineffectually.]
I dunno if we got a lotta other choice here, bro. We're clean outta everything else.
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--OKAY! FINE! GREASE ME! BUT I WILL NOT FORGET THIS, SANS! I WILL NEVER FORGET!
[He'll probably forget, this isn't the first time Sans has replaced food with another food. Remember the salt/sugar debacle of 200X?]
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If you're plannin' on gettin' me back for this, Alph has you beat.
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It's lessening the agony somewhat, and he actually calms down and lies back on the floor, fully prone.]
Your first mistake is underestimating me, Papyrus, the master of japes! [What is a prank but a slightly more mischievous puzzle?] Alphys is pretty talented, yes, but you will find my retaliation... alarming!
[Is this foreshadowing? It's foreshadowing.]
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Should I wait for it to ring any bells?
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[That's real threatening coming from a skeleton currently curled up on the floor.]
...Is there another hot dog? My mouth is only half-numb. The other half is smoldering.
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Meaning Sans is pretty screwed, huh?
He's gonna enjoy the semi-tranquility of House Number Three while it lasts.]
I got plenty.
[He fetches another plate of 'em from the fridge.]
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[He sits up and takes two 'dogs and doesn't scarf them down as ravenously as the last two, but he does alternate bites between them pretty rapidly.]
Sweet relief is within reach.
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I guess I was pretty dogged in pulling that little prank off.
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[Finally, his mouth is no longer on fire. Still a little tingly, though. What is he supposed to do with all this ruined spaghetti sauce, now? The noodles are done.
He gets up and drains the noodles and places them in a serving dish.]
I hope you are happy. Today's spaghetti is deconstructed!
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[That's really the more pertinent question here. Raises an awful lotta questions about the nature of the spaghetti sauce Papyrus has been meticulously pourin' his heart and SOUL into making.]
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[Maybe it wasn't a good idea? Well, obviously, the ketchup ended up being sriracha, but maybe even if it wasn't? Hmm...]
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[He fishes a bottle of actual ketchup out of his pocket (and Papyrus is free to check if he wishes, though Sans checks first by downing a swig of it) and holds it out as a sort of peace offering.]
Wanna give it a shot?
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...Well! I will have to start all over with the sauce. What a waste of perfectly good tomatoes!!
[...But he does take the ketchup bottle, and places it on the counter. Time to retrieve more tomatoes.]
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[Here it comes, Papyrus. You ready?]
They're here today and gone tomato.
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Papryus dunks the tomatoes whole into a pot so hard they burst.]
NO!!!!!! THEY DON'T!!!
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Eventually, he decides it's cooked enough, and prepares the now-cold noodles and ketchup-tomato sauce together and serves it on a plate dropped into Sans' lap.]
Bone appetit, you villain!
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Oh, uh. Gee, Papyrus. You shouldn't have.
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[His annoyance with his brother fades as he becomes truly excited for Sans to taste test the spaghetti, smiling at him expectantly. Eat up, Sans.]
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He munches down a forkful. And, uh...something...definitely crunched in there. Spaghetti ain't supposed to crunch, is it?]
Wow, bro. [That sentiment, at least, is utterly sincere.] Don't think I've ever tasted somethin' like this before.