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[skelebro]

heya. leave a message. i'll get back to you.

or maybe not, actually.

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[beautyis]

Yes, your completely unnecessary and fate-resigning prank! I hope you are very happy with yourself, brother.

[Finally, his mouth is no longer on fire. Still a little tingly, though. What is he supposed to do with all this ruined spaghetti sauce, now? The noodles are done.

He gets up and drains the noodles and places them in a serving dish.]

I hope you are happy. Today's spaghetti is deconstructed!

[skelebro]

Why were you puttin' ketchup on spaghetti anyway?

[That's really the more pertinent question here. Raises an awful lotta questions about the nature of the spaghetti sauce Papyrus has been meticulously pourin' his heart and SOUL into making.]

[beautyis]

I thought I might achieve a... more complicated texture! Ketchup is still tomato, yes? But it is very creamy! ...I thought it would be a good idea.

[Maybe it wasn't a good idea? Well, obviously, the ketchup ended up being sriracha, but maybe even if it wasn't? Hmm...]

[skelebro]

I guess, yeah. Never really thought of it that way.

[He fishes a bottle of actual ketchup out of his pocket (and Papyrus is free to check if he wishes, though Sans checks first by downing a swig of it) and holds it out as a sort of peace offering.]

Wanna give it a shot?

[beautyis]

[Papyrus eyes the ketchup bottle suspiciously, but his fears are mitigated when Sans makes a point of taste testing it himself.]

...Well! I will have to start all over with the sauce. What a waste of perfectly good tomatoes!!

[...But he does take the ketchup bottle, and places it on the counter. Time to retrieve more tomatoes.]

[skelebro]

Well, you know what they say about the fruits of your labor.

[Here it comes, Papyrus. You ready?]

They're here today and gone tomato.

[beautyis]

[Very true, very-- wait, that was-- THAT WAS--

Papryus dunks the tomatoes whole into a pot so hard they burst.]

NO!!!!!! THEY DON'T!!!

[skelebro]

[The pun was too good to resist. Sans retreats back to the couch with a low and extremely satisfied chuckle.]

[beautyis]

[With a harrumph, Papyrus adds the ketchup to the pot as well. Like half the bottle this time. He leaves the tomato stems in there, whoops. The noodles have been done for a while, so they sit alone in another pot. He stirs the sauce, adds some random herbs and spices (got to eat your greens!), and stirs and stirs some more.

Eventually, he decides it's cooked enough, and prepares the now-cold noodles and ketchup-tomato sauce together and serves it on a plate dropped into Sans' lap.]

Bone appetit, you villain!

[skelebro]

[Oh geez. What a, uh...interesting melange of smells and spices this meal looks like. Sans grins up at his brother irreverently as he silently pleads with whatever gods of culinary creation there might be that he does not have to eat the entire thing in front of his brother.]

Oh, uh. Gee, Papyrus. You shouldn't have.

[beautyis]

Well! It is only right that my most favorite brother will be the first to test my latest efforts as a spaghettatore!

[His annoyance with his brother fades as he becomes truly excited for Sans to taste test the spaghetti, smiling at him expectantly. Eat up, Sans.]

[skelebro]

[All right, all right. He can do this for Papyrus. Much as it'll, uh, bellyache. Good thing skeletons don't have digestive tracts.

He munches down a forkful. And, uh...something...definitely crunched in there. Spaghetti ain't supposed to crunch, is it?]

Wow, bro. [That sentiment, at least, is utterly sincere.] Don't think I've ever tasted somethin' like this before.