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[ Yeah.

Him too.

For Rose, it doesn't hit hard so much as it does deep. She's been through so much loss the past three years that more piling on is just its own brand of demon to deal with. ]

A couple days, maybe. Only noticed 'cause I was gonna text him about what our next dumb post should be, but. Looks like that's put on hold.

[Should'a kept better track. Ellie's gonna - well, she won't like it. She was living with him and everything. He was gonna make sure she'd be okay, keep her safer than Sans ever did.

Fuck.]

His housemates won't be real happy about that one.

[ Good thing she let him know then. Maybe he can try again? Unless that ship's already sailed. ]

Probably not, [ she agrees. ] Still too quiet around my place.

[He'd say "same," but...he's kinda got no right to say a thing like that when the house is all but full. Just 'cause he misses one person in particular, or three, that don't justify that sorta comparison.]

Should try and find yourself some roomies, maybe.

[ They miss two of the same, she knows, so it's... rough. Still. ]

Nah. It's quiet, but probably better that way. Newt and Hermann had, like, a whole year of me all up in their space. I can't ask anyone else to deal with me who isn't used to it.

Eh, I dunno. My roomies deal with me easy enough.

[For now. Ha ha.]

Dude, to be fair. Minus that one little incident, I hardly noticed you around the place when we lived together.

[ 'That one little incident.' Yeah, she still remembers that. How could she not? ]

[That one little incident. That thing he don't talk about, 'cause it don't merit talking about. He almost winces at that. Almost lets the memory creep over him in a wash of cyan and gold.]

Was a hell of an incident.

Yeah, well. Shit happens. Especially in this place.

I don't, like. Hold it against you or anything.

[ Though it'd be a lie to say she wasn't scared of him now, wasn't scared of what he knows after the doubles event too. ]

Mm.

[It's hard to say if he don't believe her 'cause of how long it'd taken for him to address what happened with either Newt or Hermann, or 'cause he's just mentally built up what happened for so long that lettin' it go feels damn near inconceivable.]

Did kinda mess things up for just about everybody. The docs included.

[ Both? Both. Both is good. ]

How exactly did you mess it up? You guys talked it out, right? It was cool?

Sorry I never did, I guess. I... That's a bad habit of mine. Not talking.

[ Especially about things maybe she should. ]

We, uh...kinda got stuck in the same room together. Bunch'a dragons made sure of that.

[He laughs. That's kinda self-explanatory, ain't it? He never would'a tired, never would'a bothered, if he hadn't been literally forced into it.]

No way of gettin' out, so...kinda had to explain myself a bit, I guess.

[ She remembers the dragons. She remembers Kate getting killed by one, by Hope trying (and failing) to ease everyone's anger at him bringing them in in the first place. ]

And what did you explain? That your powers went out of whack?

'Cause that's all it seemed like to me.

Kinda more complicated than that.

[How's he explain how things happened? How Hermann came at him with a knife, and he'd panicked, and he'd done the only thing he could think of to do, and - ]

I might'a...broken his wrist. And then made it worse. [There's the rasp of ossein as he scratches at his cervical vertebrae. his tone dropping.]

And I might'a done the last one on purpose.

[ Oh. Yeah, that's

a bit more complicated than she realized. Of course it begs the question, ] Why?

[ Before she makes any judgement, she wants to knows why. Why he would hurt Hermann on purpose. ]

[And with one word, she's already a fundamentally better person than Sans is. 'Cause she thinks to ask. 'Cause even if she's already made whatever judgments she needs to, she still bothers to wonder why.]

He, uh...didn't know it at the time. Gravity was actin' a little funny, so he figured he should'a done somethin' to keep me on the spot.

With a knife.

So, he tried to stab you.

[ To be fair, she'd considered attacking him as well. Self-preservation instinct and all. ]

And you broke his wrist, then made it worse because you didn't appreciate someone trying to stab you.

Is that right?

Nah. He just kinda needed me to stay pinned to the wall.

[His intent wasn't to hurt him. He knows that. Fuck, he knew that then, on some level, but he'd reacted illogically and there weren't no fixing it once it was out there.]

Just that I kinda gotta bad experience with, uh...

[People. People he knows with knives.]

Not a risk I like takin', let's just say.

Can't blame you. Not one I like taking either.

[ Last time someone threatened her with a knife she lost her hand, so.

She get it. Believe or not, she does. ]

Well. Seems like it was shitty situation all around, but. I still don't hold anything against ya'.

Don't excuse what I did.

[He may as well make that transparent. Connor did say...well, maybe it's like a way of honoring his last wishes. Morbid as it sounds. The last he can do is fucking talk to her like he suggested.]

And, uh.

'M sorry. For that.

[ No, it doesn't. Rose would have forgiven him anyway though, even if he didn't think that. She's... easy like that. ]

Apology accepted, dude. I'm...

I know I didn't have any control over my double, too, but if we're getting it all out there. I'm sorry for her and... honestly? Being kind of distant after the fact, but.

I appreciate you not telling anyone about her. About me.

Heh. Well, she weren't nearly as bad as she could'a been.

[Not sayin' much, all things considered. But it's something. A quick scouring of his memories assures that, no, she weren't unfortunate enough to run into his own.]

She wasn't you. Y'know that, yeah?

That's the worst part, actually. She was. In Haven, that's...

[ 'That's the kind of monster I became. Sometimes, I'm scared I still am.' ]

That's what that place drove me to be.

Buddy, if you think that's the worst thing to be...

[Hold up a sec here. Yeah - nah. Not the kinda time for pullin' the measuring tape in terms of whose sins are most burdensome, in terms of who's suffered the most outta everyone. Mostly 'cause that sorta thing ain't, in his experience, quantifiable in any meaningful way.]

You wanna be that person still?

[ A cannibalistic murdering monster who who betrays her friends? Yeah, that's one of the worst things to be in her mind. So it's probably best he doesn't go there because he's not going to be able to convince her anything is 'worse' at this point after the things she's done and suffered through. ]

No, [ she admits, softly. ] But I'm starting to think I will anyway. This place is testing me, dude.

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