[So joy upon joy, with Love coming in Hardriel is getting some much needed R&R until the next event kills them all. But some dark humor aside the day has been lovely and even someone like Chara was in a good mood.
A very good mood. And you know what? Thanks to having a very good idea both Chara and Frisk are going to spread the love, starting with one Sans T. Skeleton.
They're smart enough to wait until the house is empty before dropping off their "gift". So there's a nice box addressed to Sans waiting for him when he gets back. Inside the box are a couple of bottles of ketchup and a nice note written by Frisk and signed by both of the kids. Heartwarming stuff, right? And the ketchup is good quality stuff. The best that Chara could get their hands on.
....well, except one of those "ketchup bottles" is one of the hottest hot sauces in Hadriel as well. And none of the bottles have labels.
[He's been gift-giving all day. Just kinda one of those affectionate impulses there's no real muzzling, and he don't bother much to. So when he ends up with a couple bottles of ketchup, he figures - hey. Love's influence is all-reaching, right?
At some part of the day, he picks up one of the bottles and chugs it, idly. It don't occur to him until after his teeth start to burn that he has maybe possibly made a very serious error.
This is it.
This is how he dies.
It's really only thanks to him lackin' flesh and taste buds that he escapes the worst of it. They're outta milk, and he figures - yeah, this has to be karmic retribution for the stunt he pulled on Alphys and Papyrus, all those months ago. He finally gets his, and to make matters absolutely worse, they're out of milk.
When his mouth stops being on fire, when he stops feeling like he's about to vibrate off this plane of existence entirely through sheer force of agony - he preps a careful rebuttal.
Actually, he leaves a box of chocolates on their doorstep. The chocolates themselves are wholly unobjectionable. Every single one of them is perfectly untouched.
The real crime is in the three boxes he leaves after - or rather, in the peppering of a few treats within said boxes whose chocolatey insides he's carefully replaced with toothpaste.
[Sad thing is, is that pretty much everyone who knows Chara knows they love chocolate. So they while they do treat this with some level of caution, the first box goes okay and they somehow miss the landmines in the second one until the third box is started and their luck runs out.
It's not even mint. No, what this tastes like is some unholy combination of cinnamon-clove and that stuff they use for fillings at the dentist's that says it is supposed to be vanilla but just tastes like dirt and broken dreams. Chara spends a long time in the bathroom trying to wash their mouth out with soap. Frisk better watch out because they didn't get a chance to throw out the box.
There's some regret but as it's been stating many times before, they're not above the consequences. Chara started it so they'll go again. Meaning they have to find a microwave.
"Suddenly" there's some nice, small loafs of bread in the fridge in Sans's home. Maybe something thanks to Love. Something bite-sized, good for a midnight snack with or without butter.
They may or may not be microwaved bars of soap in reality. And to describe the taste of them...well, "five weeks of unwashed feet" is being generous.
Spite too, is an extraordinary thing. Also Chara has backup in the form of Frisk. Better make a wise counterattack because after this Frisk is next.]
[Hopefully Alphys and Undyne don't mind that the "bread" in the house is now something ghastly. Something so incredibly ghastly that he don't have to say a single word before they're already washing out his mouth, so to speak.
All things considered, it'd probably just be safer for everybody if he kept a private stash of food, untainted, just so he don't spend the next hour gagging into a sink and regretting every single life choice that's led him up to this moment. But where'd the fun in that be?
The "no venturing into their room" stricture puts a block on some of his riskier ideas, but it ain't worth trying to find a loophole for the sake of a joke. Less work anyway, and that's far better for everyone.
Instead, he does a bit of dawdling around the back of Asgore's place.
By the time he departs, everyone in the house will discover that the water pressure for every sink, shower, and washing machine has mysteriously begun to fluctuate, varying from a small trickle to an outrageous deluge in the span of minutes.
Guess who doesn't like the taste of toothpaste? Guess who's never been that fond of chocolate? It's there, and it's open, and one piece seems okay; for a child with a sweet tooth, there's certainly no reason to say no.
And then there's plenty. There's plenty.
Far be it for them to let this injustice rest.
At some point, when Sans as left his abode for a time, Frisk calmly makes their way in for a while. It's amazing what you can find if you try really, really hard, and boy.
Opening doors in the house never sounds better than when a legion of ducks has been jammed at the top of every doorframe.]
[It's a good thing he don't have skin to get scared out of, 'cause the sound of a thousand screaming ducks is, he's fairly sure, a noise that's reserved for the kind of people that are sent to a special level of hell.
But it does give him an idea. Love's presence has included an influx of stuffed animals, and some of 'em are a little flimsier than others. Flimsy enough to be carefully cut open and then stitched back up again.
An unbelievably relevant plush toy ends up at Frisk's doorstep. Cursory examinations will reveal nothing incriminating.
Unless, of course, someone steps on it or squeezes it just a little too tightly.
A familiar screaming duck sound will soon follow.]
[Special level of hell indeed. The push toy suffers for it sadly and a handful of cotton is deposited on Sans's own doorstep.
They'll take a page out of Sans's book. Mainly that if there's a shift from food to toys, Chara's going to follow. So they go hunting for a certain toy and begin to take it apart.
It takes awhile, Chara not exactly a scientist when it comes to this stuff, but they get it eventually. It doesn't go into Sans's room however. While Chara didn't make a promise like he did, it still felt off-limits.
So Sans has a new friend hidden in an obscure spot in the living room. That scream goes off randomly. Enjoy!]
[Wow, he sure does regret that Love has given them an endless supply of awful noisemakers. Though speakin' of noisemakers, that gives him another idea. Requires a bit more work, but the payoff will be phenomenal.
Once he's done dismantling that damn thing - which is a trial in its own regard, and he ends up havin' to straight-up relocate the thing to the lake, where hopefully it'll die a prolonged and watery death - he gets to reluctant work.
Pickin' apart half a dozen of those little abominations gives him enough parts for some small noisemakers, each no bigger than the end of his thumb. Each one gets a label - numbers one through ten, and ends up secreted at some spot in the Goat Household, barring the kids' rooms.
[You know the No Mercy run really had nothing on this. Frisk's pretty sure they've almost died a couple of times just from shock, and it's a very disgruntled child that, after gutting the house and ensuring that sweet, sweet silence is preserved, sets about ensuring they get him back appropriately.
He can't hide from it. Eventually, they'll find him, and they'll find him sleeping.
It's at this point he's going to wake up after having a bucket of melted, lukewarm lipstick tossed over him.
The culprit is nowhere to be seen.
Don't worry, Sans, it's in your colour. Plus it's glittery, and everyone loves glitter.]
[They're playing dirty. He can't trespass upon either of their rooms, but they're using and abusing that stipulation to their advantage. It's gonna take days to wash this stuff off, and to get it out from his beanbag chair. Least he weren't sleepin' on the racecar bed.
He'd be loathe to ruin Papyrus's painstaking job in smoothing the sheets out, like he did the morning before he disappeared.
In retaliation, something's carefully rigged up outside the door to their room. Water balloons, equipped to fall and thoroughly douse whatever unlucky SOUL opens it next.
[They do not scream, they do not, but they do make a strangled noise when they're doused in ketchup. Chara also has to wash their clothing five times to just get the stink out.
Fine. They'll fight water balloons with water balloons.
The next time Sans opens the fridge he'll find someone stuffed them full of water balloons that are dyed various colors. Have fun cleaning up that mess.
In addition to this, it seems someone has gone after Sans's hotdogs in the fridge. Chara was nice enough to wrap them up in foil so it's not too gross...but they're scattered around the house and in places that are out of Sans's natural reach.
[Kids, huh? Ingenious little fellas, he'll give 'em that. Good thing there aren't any food shortages in Hadriel, yeah? Yet.
One of these days he's gonna have to figure a way to lock the door. Or he would, if he didn't figure the effort would be more or less wasted; knowing the kids, they'd just find a way to circumvent that anyhow. He can respect that.
Even if he looks like a multicolored Easter egg while hunting down his hot dogs in the process. Savage.
Next time they open the door, however, they'll find several dozen cups of water, carefully positioned a few inches apart, practically blanketing the floor, all the way through the hallway. The slightest misstep will send the cups domino-ing and thoroughly drenching the floor. And also their socks, if they happen to be wearing any.
[It doesn't really matter who was supposed to be caught out, by that one- Frisk is the first to come across it. In late afternoon, no less, when everyone is up and about and doing things. They're starting to think the Dreemurrs are just politely trying to stay out of this to ensure they don't get caught in the crossfire more than they already have.
They just wanted to grab their broom.
Why does it have to be so hard to grab a broom?
But okay, sure. At some point, should Sans try to sit on the couch, it's not going to be as comfortable as usual. Neither is his beanbag, though the rest of Papyrus' room is very carefully untouched.
Not as comfortable, and definitely prone to begin smelling, as fabrics that have had their contents replaced with whipped cream are want to do.]
[If Alphys is helping them yet again, he's gonna have words. Or possibly a do-over of that little ketchup-sriracha stunt he pulled. Either way, he ultimately has to ditch both the beanbag chair and the couch and go combing through the city for another of each; the smell was bad enough, but it turns out there's no easy way to rinse whipped cream from the inside of either with any expeditious manner.
He'll have to give it to 'em for a job well done. And since they like whipped cream so much, he'll take care to replace most of the stuff in the cans they have back home, as well as the ones in the surrounding shops, with sour cream instead.
And then, for good measure, all the sugar's been swapped out for salt, and vice versa.
[You know what's needed for cakes? Sugar. You know what goes great on them too? Whipped cream.
You know how bad it is to mess with Chara's ability to bake things? He'll know now.
But first, has Sans ever heard of food injection syringes? Fun little things, they are. Usually used for things like BBQs but with enough Determination - or spite - and a blender, it can inject other things. Like say....a mixture of water and cheese powder or hot sauce.
Some of his hotdogs are untouched, some are not. Enjoy your game of Russian roulette.
[He really should know better than to touch their food supply by now. 'Specially since it wouldn't be half as bad if it were in moderation, like cheese sauce and the like sprinkled over nachos, but it's not. It's taking a bite and getting some awful diluted cheese water or something hot enough to sear the tastebuds off his nonexistent tongue.
So he spends the next hour or so filling every cupboard and cabinet in Casa Dreemurr with packing peanuts.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[action] during the Love event
A very good mood. And you know what? Thanks to having a very good idea both Chara and Frisk are going to spread the love, starting with one Sans T. Skeleton.
They're smart enough to wait until the house is empty before dropping off their "gift". So there's a nice box addressed to Sans waiting for him when he gets back. Inside the box are a couple of bottles of ketchup and a nice note written by Frisk and signed by both of the kids. Heartwarming stuff, right? And the ketchup is good quality stuff. The best that Chara could get their hands on.
....well, except one of those "ketchup bottles" is one of the hottest hot sauces in Hadriel as well. And none of the bottles have labels.
Enjoy your gift buddy =)]
[action]
At some part of the day, he picks up one of the bottles and chugs it, idly. It don't occur to him until after his teeth start to burn that he has maybe possibly made a very serious error.
This is it.
This is how he dies.
It's really only thanks to him lackin' flesh and taste buds that he escapes the worst of it. They're outta milk, and he figures - yeah, this has to be karmic retribution for the stunt he pulled on Alphys and Papyrus, all those months ago. He finally gets his, and to make matters absolutely worse, they're out of milk.
When his mouth stops being on fire, when he stops feeling like he's about to vibrate off this plane of existence entirely through sheer force of agony - he preps a careful rebuttal.
Actually, he leaves a box of chocolates on their doorstep. The chocolates themselves are wholly unobjectionable. Every single one of them is perfectly untouched.
The real crime is in the three boxes he leaves after - or rather, in the peppering of a few treats within said boxes whose chocolatey insides he's carefully replaced with toothpaste.
Magic really is an extraordinary thing.]
[action]
It's not even mint. No, what this tastes like is some unholy combination of cinnamon-clove and that stuff they use for fillings at the dentist's that says it is supposed to be vanilla but just tastes like dirt and broken dreams. Chara spends a long time in the bathroom trying to wash their mouth out with soap. Frisk better watch out because they didn't get a chance to throw out the box.
There's some regret but as it's been stating many times before, they're not above the consequences. Chara started it so they'll go again. Meaning they have to find a microwave.
"Suddenly" there's some nice, small loafs of bread in the fridge in Sans's home. Maybe something thanks to Love. Something bite-sized, good for a midnight snack with or without butter.
They may or may not be microwaved bars of soap in reality. And to describe the taste of them...well, "five weeks of unwashed feet" is being generous.
Spite too, is an extraordinary thing. Also Chara has backup in the form of Frisk. Better make a wise counterattack because after this Frisk is next.]
[action]
All things considered, it'd probably just be safer for everybody if he kept a private stash of food, untainted, just so he don't spend the next hour gagging into a sink and regretting every single life choice that's led him up to this moment. But where'd the fun in that be?
The "no venturing into their room" stricture puts a block on some of his riskier ideas, but it ain't worth trying to find a loophole for the sake of a joke. Less work anyway, and that's far better for everyone.
Instead, he does a bit of dawdling around the back of Asgore's place.
By the time he departs, everyone in the house will discover that the water pressure for every sink, shower, and washing machine has mysteriously begun to fluctuate, varying from a small trickle to an outrageous deluge in the span of minutes.
It'll sort itself out in a few hours. Probably.]
[action]
Guess who doesn't like the taste of toothpaste? Guess who's never been that fond of chocolate? It's there, and it's open, and one piece seems okay; for a child with a sweet tooth, there's certainly no reason to say no.
And then there's plenty. There's plenty.
Far be it for them to let this injustice rest.
At some point, when Sans as left his abode for a time, Frisk calmly makes their way in for a while. It's amazing what you can find if you try really, really hard, and boy.
Opening doors in the house never sounds better than when a legion of ducks has been jammed at the top of every doorframe.]
[action]
But it does give him an idea. Love's presence has included an influx of stuffed animals, and some of 'em are a little flimsier than others. Flimsy enough to be carefully cut open and then stitched back up again.
An unbelievably relevant plush toy ends up at Frisk's doorstep. Cursory examinations will reveal nothing incriminating.
Unless, of course, someone steps on it or squeezes it just a little too tightly.
A familiar screaming duck sound will soon follow.]
[action]
They'll take a page out of Sans's book. Mainly that if there's a shift from food to toys, Chara's going to follow. So they go hunting for a certain toy and begin to take it apart.
It takes awhile, Chara not exactly a scientist when it comes to this stuff, but they get it eventually. It doesn't go into Sans's room however. While Chara didn't make a promise like he did, it still felt off-limits.
So Sans has a new friend hidden in an obscure spot in the living room. That scream goes off randomly. Enjoy!]
[action]
Once he's done dismantling that damn thing - which is a trial in its own regard, and he ends up havin' to straight-up relocate the thing to the lake, where hopefully it'll die a prolonged and watery death - he gets to reluctant work.
Pickin' apart half a dozen of those little abominations gives him enough parts for some small noisemakers, each no bigger than the end of his thumb. Each one gets a label - numbers one through ten, and ends up secreted at some spot in the Goat Household, barring the kids' rooms.
Only there aren't ten noisemakers at all.
There's only nine.
Have fun figuring that bit out!]
[action]
He can't hide from it. Eventually, they'll find him, and they'll find him sleeping.
It's at this point he's going to wake up after having a bucket of melted, lukewarm lipstick tossed over him.
The culprit is nowhere to be seen.
Don't worry, Sans, it's in your colour. Plus it's glittery, and everyone loves glitter.]
[action]
He'd be loathe to ruin Papyrus's painstaking job in smoothing the sheets out, like he did the morning before he disappeared.
In retaliation, something's carefully rigged up outside the door to their room. Water balloons, equipped to fall and thoroughly douse whatever unlucky SOUL opens it next.
Only it's not water inside them.
It's ketchup.
Delicious.]
[action]
Fine. They'll fight water balloons with water balloons.
The next time Sans opens the fridge he'll find someone stuffed them full of water balloons that are dyed various colors. Have fun cleaning up that mess.
In addition to this, it seems someone has gone after Sans's hotdogs in the fridge. Chara was nice enough to wrap them up in foil so it's not too gross...but they're scattered around the house and in places that are out of Sans's natural reach.
It's like Easter! So get hunting.]
[action]
Yet.One of these days he's gonna have to figure a way to lock the door. Or he would, if he didn't figure the effort would be more or less wasted; knowing the kids, they'd just find a way to circumvent that anyhow. He can respect that.
Even if he looks like a multicolored Easter egg while hunting down his hot dogs in the process. Savage.
Next time they open the door, however, they'll find several dozen cups of water, carefully positioned a few inches apart, practically blanketing the floor, all the way through the hallway. The slightest misstep will send the cups domino-ing and thoroughly drenching the floor. And also their socks, if they happen to be wearing any.
There's no hell quite like wet socks.]
[action]
They just wanted to grab their broom.
Why does it have to be so hard to grab a broom?
But okay, sure. At some point, should Sans try to sit on the couch, it's not going to be as comfortable as usual. Neither is his beanbag, though the rest of Papyrus' room is very carefully untouched.
Not as comfortable, and definitely prone to begin smelling, as fabrics that have had their contents replaced with whipped cream are want to do.]
[action]
He'll have to give it to 'em for a job well done. And since they like whipped cream so much, he'll take care to replace most of the stuff in the cans they have back home, as well as the ones in the surrounding shops, with sour cream instead.
And then, for good measure, all the sugar's been swapped out for salt, and vice versa.
Enjoy.]
[action]
You know how bad it is to mess with Chara's ability to bake things? He'll know now.
But first, has Sans ever heard of food injection syringes? Fun little things, they are. Usually used for things like BBQs but with enough Determination - or spite - and a blender, it can inject other things. Like say....a mixture of water and cheese powder or hot sauce.
Some of his hotdogs are untouched, some are not. Enjoy your game of Russian roulette.
Also the milk is "gone".]
[action]
So he spends the next hour or so filling every cupboard and cabinet in Casa Dreemurr with packing peanuts.]
[action]
The fuck was this kind of energy when there were dragons about?
As a final, parting gift in their efforts for this war, Frisk does absolutely nothing.
Not a damn thing.
Just like with Chara, they are now well and truly biding their time. They don't forget, Sans. And they're extremely determined.
Watch yourself.]